Few Questions I need to Know

They want everything for my best,
But nothing is always gonna be the best,
Something is always not the best,
Because not everything is the best.

ie. Nothing is perfect.

Have always been idealistic,
Always been in fairytale world,
Never seen the real hurtful world,
Yet do understand the feel of painfulness.

Can't bare to be selfish,
Can't bare to be unrealistic,
Can't bare to be hurtful,
Would rather be hurt.

To be protected
OR
To get hurt?

She is SO kind......

CHOO SU FEN

A girl whom I only met once, when she came to Melbourne for her boyfriend's graduation.
A girl whom I only talked to a few times during her two weeks stay in Melbourne.
A girl whom my friend or *housemate* should really, really, really appreciate.

She knows what songs I like.
She looks for all the songs that I like.
She translated all lirics of the songs I like into english subtitle for me.
She burnt a CD for me from Malaysia.
She bought me a memory card reader from Malaysia, realizing my broken reader when she was in Melbourne.
She sent me the gifts from Malaysia.

I had a pleasant surprise.
I was speechless.
I was touched.
I really need to think think and think how to surprise her back..........THINK~

I am so blessed and loved, again....

Hello How are you?

Sorry was not there when you needed to feel the presence,
Sorry was not there to give you physical support,
Sorry was not able to do nothing to help you feel better or happier,
Sorry for being speechless and helpless.

Sorry

Sibling-bondship, Friendship or Relationship

Similarities between
Siblings, Friendship and Relationship:

• Caring
• Worrying
• Praying
• Hoping
• Thinking
• Missing
• Loving

How can we distinguish the feelings amongst these three different bondings?

Confused.

Pain pain go away...

I HAVE PUS IN MY ARM
:(
:(
:(
:(
:(

My T-cells are fightin' the vaccinia virus now....and that makes me feel sick and tired and uncomfy.

I feel sleepy.......coz had a very little sleep weekend........

I feel Fortunate and Lucky.

I suddenly realized,
that I should be satisfied and contented with,
who I am,
who I have,
who I belong to,
where I am staying,
what I possess,
what I am doing,
how I grew up,
how I was then and now.

After friday night - saturday morning,
I saw,
he doesn't have anyone to go to,
he doesn't feel belong to anywhere,
he doesn't have any belongings,
he doesn't have anything to use,
he has to work hard to pay school fees,
he has to take care of himself and earn his living,
he doesn't really know how to...

Deep down he is,
confused, sad and lost.

So I really think,
that I am lucky.

Vaccinia Virus

I had my vaccinia immunisation yesterday,
Wasn't painful BUT,
The effect will appear next week WHEN,
The pus and inflammation is observed on my arm WHICH,
Means that my arm will be swollen AND,
The worse of all will be the SCAR will be on my arm FOREVER......

I am devastated and sad and unhappy.

Don't want that stupid scar... :(

Sleepy piG Again....

Slept late, coz
Came home late, coz
Was in the city, coz
Went for dinner, coz
He wanna talk, coz
He was confused, coz
He wanted to look for a job, coz
He is planning his future, coz
He has to.

Had a good relaxing night.

Change of weather, change of mood

The weather changed yesterday...
And so I had a slight change in mood yesterday...
He said I am upset bout something...
I think he was right that I was extra quiet...
He asked me what was upsetting me...
But I couldn't reply...

Coz I didn't know what I was upset about.

Could it be I was homesick?
Could it be I was thinking too much rubbish?
Could it be I was being emo?
Could it be I was in my couldn't be bothered mood?

I just wanted to be lazy
I just wanted to be passive
I just wanted to be inactive
I just wanted to be quiet
I just wanted to be carefree

I think I was giving a *don't come near me* impression.
But I am all good now...
I hope...
Sorry for being in such a moodygurl yesterday...
Please come near me now... ^_^

Can't stop yawning.

I have been yawning since 6.30am this morning until now 10.15am, and still will be yawning until I leave work place today, and will definitely be yawning until I reach home and sleep tonight.

I AM SO UCKIN SLEEPY~!!!!

Today is so not my day.

LATE
I woke up an hour later, coz I turned off my ringing alarm clockSSS at 6.00am.
I bothered not to take shower and made a quick change so to catch my usual train.
I was few minutes late for my usual train, and thought I was ok to handle the late few minutes.

BUT

There was no train travelling from Dandenong to Caufield due to the lightning and thunderstorm that struck yesterday night, breaking the blardy connecting line for trains.

SO

Had to catch public bus from Clayton to Glen Waverley, which took everyone a blardy 45 minutes to reach the Syndal station and YET missing the next train to the city.

HOWEVER

Waited patiently for another 10 minutes for the next train, which then took everyone another blardy 45 minutes to reach the Flinders Street station.

ANYWAY

Missed the earlier train to reach Austin Hospital. Waited again, patiently, for another 15 minutes for the next train, which took me another 45 minutes to reach Heidelberg station.

BLARDY HELL

A strange mentally-ill man, later got into the same train carriage as mine, took the seat right in front of mine, doing something obscence in front of me. I wasn't looking of course, didn't realize, but after few minutes, I then realized that he was trying to expose his lower self from the window reflection... When he realized that I was ignoring him, he then stood right in front of me, wanted to shake hand with me.... and I was like..... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~

TERRIFIED

I could see his face clearly when he was coming SO near me. His face was like poppye the sailor man, slightly scarier definitely. My heart was beating like poK poK poK poK poK thousand and one time faster than they usually were.... Nobody said nothing, until a guy behind shouted at him... but after 10 minutes???

FORTUNATELY

And he ran off after the train stopped at the next station.

NOT THE END

The day went slightly smooth at work. Tried to leave later from work just because I reached work place an hour and half later. Had to catch a different train from usual, but thought I could handle it.

SO

Caught the Cranbourne line train from the usual platform 6, and as written on the computer screen was C R A N B O U R N E. Thought was a bit weird when the train was not running express from South Yarra to Caufield, as it stopped at all stations, making me dizzy. Then, the next thing I found was that I have been sitting in a Frankston line train, heading a wrong destination.

THEREFORE

Had to jump out of the train, just to catch another train back to Caufield station, ran from Platform 1 to Platform 4, in order to catch my next coming in 1 minute Pakenham line train.

FINALLY

I managed to jump into the correct, desired, wanted train, and reached Clayton station alas.....

CONCLUSION

I am speechless and having bad headache.

No.

No, No, No....
Nothing....
Nobody....
None....

No goals, No expections, No interest.
Nothing to look forward to.
Nobody to talk to.
None.

No feel, No taste, No view.
Nothing to think about.
Nobody to listen to.
None.

NO.

I want to sleep in my room on my bed
And bother nothing
Sees nobody
Make NO thinking.

Dear Landlord.....

Dear Landlord,

I need to sleep alot because I feel tired having to travel everyday for approx. 1.5 hours.
I feel extremely tired after working and travelling.
I feel sleepy having to wake up so early in the morning and especially I don't sleep early at night.
So I think, I may not be able to listen to you chatting repetitively on and on about anything and everything everynight after my bedtime.

I think it is best for me to move to somewhere closer to the city.
I think it is so much easier for me not having to stress on the train catching and train transition period.
I think it is nice if I am able to catch up with friends at night after work and still being able to go home in peace.
So I think, I would like the idea of mine, to move out sometime end of this year.

All my friends are in the city, and I feel lonely plus homesick staying in Clayton.
Not when you all are around though, but that only last for one month.

I have to be sorry for not being able to stay in your house till your beloved daughter comes back from England to stay..... because I really think its tiring me out, and I may not be a good housekeeper if I am tired and always not at home.

If only I could send you this letter to tell you......

I am Glad, yet not completely.

I emailed tacia,
It is not aneurysm,
I am so glad but,
Complication she said,
Is similar to aneurysm,
Which means,
There ain't nothing worth to be glad about.

I am worried still,
I am frustrated still,
I am confused still,
I am problemed still.

Thinking, thinking, thinking......

It sucks being one who can't help in nothing but
Just worrying and praying.
Especially the someone you need to help is
Someone you care and love so much.

How? Why? When? Where? I don't know.

I want to know,
I need to know,
I have to know,
I wish to know,
I really ought to know...

Please let me know...
I will but phone card tomorrow...

I feel intruded,
I feel lost of privacy,
I feel lost of freedom,
I feel frustrated.

I wanna go home.

Patience..................

Patience is virtue,
for it test your

ability,
capacity,
competency,
gravity,
honesty,
modesty,
power,
purity,
quality,
temperance and,
strength

My blardy strength is so gonna be weaken by my blardy patience....
A ZA A ZA FIGHTING~!!!

How you gonna feel when you have to face,
an indian customer being so "mou lei chui lao"
and so "pan sai ye" ?
I just smiled at her and appologized to keep her mouth shut.

How you gonna feel when you woke up so early in the morning,
only to catch the earlier train to get to work,
but the train delayed and thus have to miss another train by 30 SECONDS,
and so ma as well waking up 15 minutes later to catch the 15 minutes later train,
to get to work the same time via the same train.

stupid shit idiot

Quiet weekend...

I feel tired.
I feel like retiring.
I feel like relaxing.
I feel like sleeping.
I feel like cozing in my little tiny cutie room.
I feel like listening to my favourite songs in my room.
I feel like isolating myself, again.

I feel that one night or day, one weekend or week, one month or year of quiet night(s) ain't gonna be enough.

I am a greedy pig.

Cold Spring.....

Rainy spring,
As September ends,
Cold spring,
As September ends.

Its spring,
As September ends,
What a wet spring,
As September ends.

I don't want September to end coz',
I don't like rainy, cold and wet spring.
But I do want September to end so,
I could go home........^_^

What a lame poem.....

I need to speak...

I think I have a problem,
but I don't know what problem I am having,
I still think I have a problem,
but I don't know how to find out my problem...

I found that while working today I,
wasn't as enthusiasted as I've always been,
wasn't as happy,
wasn't as comfy,
wasn't as chatty,
wasn't as energetic,
so was it my sore throat+headache+voicelessness the causes of my "problem"?

I was quite emo today cause I,
actually felt the need,
the urge,
the long,
the desire,
to be home,
to feel home,
to have a home.

I was tear-dropping on my way home in the train, listening to my favourite song "mui kui suet wa"..... dammit

I hate, I hate it, I so hate to know,
people that are bitchy, trying to bitch, trying to act like a bitch and bitches other people,
although that particular person is such a hot or pretty babe, but she is a pitch black bitch that bitches.
I still hate to see,
people that are so fake and selfish,
although that particular person can be as loving as a lovey bird to the people she loves,
but she is still a bias faker who is inconsiderate, cold-hearted and childish fishmonger.

She's fallin' sicK

She's feelin' sick...
She's fallin' sick...
She's callin' sick...
She's waitin' sick...
She's nevabin' sick...
Yet,
She's gettin' sick.

I feel sick.

Stupid virus~

wake me up, please?

Thursday, 22-09-05

Slept in the train on my way home after work.
Woke up startled, only to realize that the train has started to leave Clayton station.
Missed my stop station, AGAIN.

Conclusion: Never catch the new connex train because it's cozy enough to drive me into deep slumber and therefore miss my stop station.

Saturday, 24-09-05

Slept in the train on my way home after dinner with Zoe.
Woke up startled, opened my eyes to see *Clayton* signboard outside.
Fortunate enough, managed to jump out of the train.
Coz its the last train back to Clayton.

Conclusion: Never close my eyes on my way home back to Clayton at night.

Sunday, 25-09-05

Adjusted my clock for alarm at 8.00am last night at 11.30pm.
Woke up startled, shocked to see my clock pointing at 11.30(am).
Fortunate enough, its only 8.00am sharp.
Verdict was, forgot to insert batteries into my alarm clock last night.

Conclusion: One alarm clock is not enough, when I have to work the next day.

In short, I still need popo to wake me up.

I, my, me

My personality is influenced by..................

1. Mama's emo
2. Papa's patience
3. Mama's so-called 'instinct' or too much thinking
4. Papa's MYOB (mind your own business)
5. Popo's selflessness

I am glad to be myself, wanna be myself, will be myself.
I love my papa, love my mama, love my popo, love my tacia, love my koko, love my ercia.
I have a family full of emo, patience, selflessness, understanding, consideration, support and LOVE.
I feel so FORTUNATE...

Although I haven't received any "phone calls" this week just yet, I am still loved....Screw you

Hibernate period

Been too partish for the past few days.....

Time to hibernate and sleep.................

zzzZZzzzZZzzzZZzzzZZzzz

Wohoo 

Cheezee 

Cocktail party 

Where is my feeling???

I lost my mood signs on my boarD!!!!
And I am feeling crappily eMO at the moment......

*Shit*


Green Day - Wake Me Up When September Ends

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends

like my fathers come to pass
seven years has gone so fast
wake me up when september ends

here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are

as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when september ends

summer has come and passed
the innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends

ring out the bells again
like we did when spring began
wake me up when september ends

here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are

as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when september ends

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends

Like my fathers come to pass
Twenty years has gone so fast
wake me up when september ends
wake me up when september ends
wake me up when september ends

Farewell

He, whom I first met in Disted,
He, whom I did not talk (much) to during college,
He, whom I know very little about until I,

came over to Melbourne,
stayed in his house,
ate his food,
made him listen to my crying,
made him listen to my groaning,
made him listen to my complains,
made him show *some* sympathies and concern,
and it's been 4 years,

Its so damn hard to describe and show,
my feelings and gratitude to you,
for being such a wonderful person,
although I may have complained too much about guys' *insensitivities*,
although I may not have said nothing,
although I may be the me who never call using my mobile,
but I do appreciate our beautiful friendship,
and that I would like to thank you.

pEEkAbOO~! 

I found.

Working is not easy,
Due to the stress ie distinct from studying stress,
And having to cope with some "strange" colleagues.

Studying is not fun,
Coz studying stress may be too unbearable at times,
And the thoughts of having to study all alone makes me shiver.

In short, working and studying both are not the ideal circumstances I wanna be in,
that Life is too Difficult to Adapt to.......sometimes

I LOVE my FAMILY

Love ercia heaps and beaps and deaps,
Coz she made me a beautiful card,
For me to hang in my little cute room,
And thus lessen my homesickness...

Love pamapo endlessly,
Coz they sent me a buddha statue that I asked for,
For me to pray to buddha,
And hence I do not feel so scared alone,
Coz they also sent me darlie toothpaste and bedak,
Which I need to use everyday without fail...

Love tacia and koko and my cutie nephews no doubt,
Coz for being themselves, there and then for me...

And therefore I have to thank everyone or anyone or whoever,
For giving me my beloved family.

Where have I been to?

I have been to nowhere,
Yet I have not been home for nearly one week,
I was home yesterday night,
Yet I was only home for one night in the entire week,
Which I think I shouldn't have,
B'coz I am currently in a housekeeping position.
I am feeling guilty,
Yet, still was not under my control,
Just coz I was keeping friends company.

What should I do?

Few Dislikings.....

1. People who like to force one doing what one does not like to do.
2. People who take things or other people for granted.
3. People who want satisfaction by not being considerate.
4. People who always think about themselves.
5. People who act like a perfectionist but do not allow others being one.

I shall not want to be like one of them because they make me feel sick.

Happy Birthday to Ta cia!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO TA CIA,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU............

Home....I wanna go home....

Michael Bublé - Home

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home

Maybe surronded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
I miss you, you know

And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
In each one a line or two
"I'm fine baby, how are you?"
Well I would send them but I know that it's just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I'm lucky I know
But I wanna go home
I've got to go home

Let me go home
I'm just too far
From where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life
It's like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
But this was not your dream
But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come
and gone away
And in Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home

Let me go home
And I'm surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone

Let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know
Let me go home
I've had my runBaby,
I'm doneI gotta go home

Let me go home
It all will be alright
I'll be home tonight
I'm coming back home

BORED!

Had a Friday morning meeting,
Followed by morning tea,
Feeding and splitting my cells,
Collecting bottles into dishwasher,
Had my lunch,
READ ARTICLES......

What a boring day it is........sigHz.

Looking forward for my busy busy weekend......

1. Working at chilli tonight
2. Listening to the band and hang out with mei
3. Go to Aa's graduation ceremony on saturday
4. Go to Glaphyra's house for pizza and beer night
5. Working full day on Sunday at chilli

Had a bad day again

Bad Day - Daniel Powter

Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day

(Oh.. Holiday..)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day

A shoulder to cry on

Tommy Page - A Shoulder To Cry On

Life is full of lots of up and downs,
And the distance feels further when you're headed for the ground,
And there is nothing more painful than to let you're feelings take you down,
It's so hard to know the way you feel inside,
When there's many thoughts and feelings that you hide,
But you might feel better if you let me walk with you by your side

And when you need a shoulder to cry on,
When you need a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
You won't be alone,
cause I'll be there,
I'll be your shoulder to cry on,
I'll be there,
I'll be a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
you won't be alone,
cause I'll be there.

All of the times when everything is wrong
And you're feeling like
There's no use going on
You can't give it up
I hope you work it out and carry on

Side by side,
With you till the end
I'll always be the one to firmly hold your hand
no matter what is said or done
our love will always continue on

Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on
everyone needs a friend to rely on
When the whole world is gone
you won't be alone
cause I'll be there
I'll be your shoulder to cry on
I'll be there
I'll be the one you rely on
when the whole world's gone
you won't be alone
cause I'll be there!

And when the whole world is gone
You'll always have my shoulder to cry on....

Keep hiding?

Sometimes,
I would like to share my thoughts and opinion with ppl...
Sometimes,
I would like to listen to ppl with problems and give some "useful" or "helpful" advice...
Sometimes,
I would tend to keep my feelings and thoughts to myself just simply desire to be calm and reflective...
Sometimes,
I just would like to close my eyes and lean on somebody's shoulder for an hour, without having to say nothing...

Sometimes,
I just need to know what I am doing here...

Sleeping in the train

I overslept in the train and missed my train stop.
I woke up startled at the point right after my train stop, and
the "cute" gentleman who sat beside me throughout my deep slumber in the train
looked at me appologizingly, feeling guilty for not waking me up for my stop.
Though I had to wait for another hour for the stupid "running late" train to get me back to my clayton station, I felt *flattered*

I didn't have to sleep alone in the train......

I had my blood taken yesterday for serology test......and
a vaccination today, for Hepatitis B.......pain pain

Green Day - Boulevard of Broken Dreams

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But its home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone
I walk alone(4x)

My shadows are the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I'll walk alone

Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh
Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line of the edge
And where I walk alone

Read between the lines of what's
Fucked up and every things all right
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive
And I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk aloneI walk a...

My shadows are the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I'll walk alone

Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh
Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a..

My shadows are the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I'll walk alone!

Uncle Robert's fav song....

Embrace - Gravity

Honey,
It's been a long time coming,
And I can't stop now
Such a long time running,
And I can't stop now
Do you hear my heart beating?
Can you hear that sound?
'cause i can't help thinking
And I don't look down
And then I looked up at the sun
And I could see
Oh,
the way that gravity turns for you and me
And then I looked up at the sky
And saw the sun
And the way that gravity pulls on everyone
On everyone

Baby,
It's been a long time waiting,
Such a long, long time
And I can't stop smiling,
No I can't stop now
Do you hear my heart beating?
And can you hear that sound?
'cause I can't help crying
And I won't look down
And then I looked up at the sun
And I could see
Oh,
the way that gravity turns on you and me
And then I looked up at the sun
And saw the sky
And the way that gravity pulls on you and I
On you and I
Can you hear my heart beating
Do you hear that sound
'cause I cant help crying
And I wont look down

Lost Without You

I know I can be a little stubborn sometimes
A little righteous and too proud
I just want to find a way to compromise
Cos I believe that we can work things out

I thought I had all the answers never giving in
But baby since you've gone
I admit that I was wrong

All I know is I'm lost without you I'm not gonna lie
How my going to be strong without you
I need you by my side
If we ever say we'll never be together and we ended with goodbye
Don't know what I'd do ...
I'm lost without you

I keep trying to find my way
but all I know is I'm lost withoutyou
I keep trying to face the day
I'm lost without you

How my ever gonna get rid of these blues
Baby I'm so lonely all the time
Everywhere I go I get so confused
You're the only thing that's on my mind
Oh my beds so cold at night and I miss you more each day
Only you can make it right no I'm not too proud to say

All I know is I'm lost without you I'm not gonna lie
How my going to be strong without you I need you by my side
If we ever say we'll never be together and we ended with goodbye
Don't know what I'd do ...

I'm lost without you
I keep trying to find my way but all I know is I'm lost without you
I keep trying to face the day
I'm lost without you

If I could only hold you now and make the pain just go away
Can't stop the tears from running down my face

Oh
All I know is I'm lost without you I'm not gonna lie
How my going to be strong without you
I need you by my side
If we ever say we'll never be together and we ended with goodbye
Don't know what I'd do ...

I'm lost without you
I keep trying to find my way but all I know is I'm lost without you
I keep trying to face the day
I'm lost without you

Homesick....

Er yi is going back to Penang tonight.
Uncle Neville will join Er yi after two weeks.
Seok Yee has already gone back and enjoying herself at home.
Soo Huey is going back home again on 14 August for her mom and dad's 25th Aniversary.

I also want to go home........sobZzz..........


I realized that I have been quite a stupid girl, for being so patient and comforting.
I also noticed that it may not be a very wise thing to be so patient and understanding afterall.
I used to think that this is a very silly act, yet I am being one now.
I somehow think that I am someone new.
Perhaps I am just being myself, whom I have yet to recognized the other self of me.


Working with new people is just hard.
Working life is indeed different.
Working people are not a fun place to be with.
Working sucks.


My hotmail is very crap now.
Service is unavailable everytime I try to log in.


I am feeling damn crabby now.

Life........

Life,

sometimes could blossom like nobody's business
that it makes you wanna cry out all your heart
just coz you felt so touched and happy and wonderful.

Life,

sometimes could be so sucky
that nothing seems to be working or worth having at all
just to make you feel shit and awful.

In short, life could be beautiful as angel and simultaneously pitiful.

Farewell Danny...

Danny is flying home to Penang on Sunday. He will not be coming back to Melbourne for sometime soon. Though we may not have been very close, but his presence has already been buried in my memory. I think I will miss him, and I will. Its shit, coz I am an emo gurl.

Dr Danesh........

I am sleepy and tired.
My eyes are similar to Dr Danesh's eyes (panda eye) now.

My exhausting weekend:
1. On Friday, I woke up at 6.00am and went to Ludwig for work until 4.00pm. I then went to chilli for work at 6.00pm until 1.00am. I also then, stayed at chilli the entire night and morning until I slept at 7.00am on saturday.
2. I received koko's phone call at 11.30am on saturday morning, and was awaken from then.
3. I went for dinner with Jason, Reece, KaiYing, Emily, Chris, Iwan and his sister at La Pochetta, then back to chilli to look for Aunty Li, and we both went for supper at Shark Fin's Inn. Therefore, I slept at 2.00am.
4. I had to open the door at chilli on Sunday, woke up at 8.00am and worked till 6.00pm.

Conclusion:
I am Dr Danesh's twin.

What have I been doing?

1. Worked from 8.00am till 4.30pm at Ludwig Institute
2. Travelled in the train for approx. 2 hours each way (x2 perday = 4 hours)
3. Went to Department of Anatomy and Cell Biology after work, on Monday and Thursday to feed my cells
4. Stayed with Lina on Monday and Wednesday, until her hubby comes
5. Went for dinner with Zoe, at Chuji and then gelati for desert, and stayed with her on Tuesday
6. Managed to spend one Thursday night at my home sweet home, and did some laundry
6. Going to work at chilli tonight coz its Friday
7. Going for yumcha with Soo Huey and Wang Wei, dinner to meet up with Jason, Reece and Kai Ying on Saturday
8. Working at chilli again on Sunday

Conclusions:
1. My new reputation is the Little gurl who sleeps all over the places
2. Been quite a workoholic this week, having not enough sleep
3. Homesick.

My Birthday?

On my Birthday, I.......

woke up at 6.00am
worked from 8.30am till 4.00pm
had morning tea, lunch and afternoon tea
had a cooked-in mexican dinner with Lina, Reetu and Channy
had mint slices, m&m and nachos while
watching Elektra and The girl with pearl earring
and slept together in the living room

and I.....
received emails and friends and cousin
received smses from friends, uncle robert, uncle neville and papa
received phone calls from from friends and eryi and a long distance call from hone

Robbie Wiliam: Sexed up

Loose lips sunk ships
I'm getting to grips with what you said
No it's not in my head
I can't awaken the dead
Day after day

Why don't we talk about it
Why do you always doubt that there can be a better way
It doesn't make me wanna stay

Why don't we break up
There's nothing left to say
I've got my eyes shut
Praying they won't stray
Oh we’re not sexed up
That's what makes the difference today
I hope you blow away

You say we're fatally flawed
When I'm easily bored
Is that OK
Write me off your list
Make this the last kiss
I'll walk away

Why don't we talk about it
I'm only here don't shout
If you give 'em time, you'll forget
Let's pretend we never met

Why don't we break up
There's nothing left to say
I've got my eyes shut
Praying they won't stray
And when I'm sexed up
That's what makes the difference today
I hope you blow away

Screw you
I didn't like your taste
Anyway I chose you
And that's all gone to waste
It's Saturday
I'll go out and find another you

Why don't we
Why don't we break up
There's nothing left to say
I've got my eyes shut
Praying they won't stray
Oh we're not sexed up
That's what makes the difference today
I hope you blow away
I hope you blow away
I hope you blow away

Rest in peace

My former teacher has passed away yesterday, and I hope she will rest in peace and will be a cute baby in her next life.

Something I have learnt and should bare in mind always and should try to practise...*Money could not buy health nor happiness*

Omituofuo.

10 Reasons........

10 Reasons why I feel so loved....

1. I have a new *godmother* in melbourne, and she organized a special dinner for me at chilli, and uncle Robert sponsored a few expensive wines for all of us.
2. Chillimates celebrated my birthday for me at chilli.
3. My beloved distedmates gave me a surprise birthday party, and took the initiative to cook yummy delicious food.
4. Hone sent me a spongehead via sister, Yaling.
5. Uncle Loyd, the headchef of chilli made a delicious special walnut chocolate cake for me.
6. Will have a party at Lina's house tomorrow (11-07-05), to celebrate her housewarming.
7. Will meet Zoe and Mike for dinner on tuesday (12-07-05).
8. I just received a beautiful card from pamapo taciasanyeng and ercia, as well as an sms from CC.
9. Mike called me yesterday to wish me Happy Birthday.....bit early, and so I asked him to wish again on Monday...
10. Beng cici just called me to wish me an early Happy Birthday.

I am speechless and do not know how to thank everyone for everything......what should I do?

All of a sudden, I feel so lucky and loved....
Although all in all, something I do not know what is still amiss......

I just want to say, I LOVE YOU ALL.

Officially a working gurL

hMmm.....Feeling weird, being in a working world, having a full time job.
In fact, having so much free time, yet still getting paid out of it.
Not having to work like madness, running up and down the stairs, smile and greet every customer, every second.
Hope that it would last, but knowing it will get busier by next week, not as much "free time" anymore.

I am now a working gurl.

hMmm.....Still feeling weird, being in a working world, having a full time job.

All my prayers is for you.

I might not know how bad you are feeling, but I know for sure is that you are feeling real bad.
I might not understand how painful you are, but I definitely know that you are feeling very hurt.
I might not have talked to you, to ask you how are you, but I indeed have been wondering how you have been and what you are thinking.
I might not be there to comfort you, but I no doubt have been praying for you, all the time, for your health and your happiness, and your safety.

I love you, and I love you all, my dearest.

I am, indeed, missing all of you, and feeling miserable and lonely.....I am.

I am silly, shocked and sad

How would you feel if you,

woke up so early in the freezing foggy morning,
caught the sandwich-cramming train,
had to wait for another train with the chilly wind blowing in your face every second,
stood and sat in the cold train for approximately two blardy hours,

And alas, you managed to reach the work place on time,

Only to find out that the officer in New York was on leave and didn't manage to process your employment letter last week, which thus withhold you from start working this week, and having to wait for another blardy week - jobless, before you get to start the blardy job next week?

And can't the Ludwig Institute human resource manager give me a ring on friday to tell me this 'essential' information so that I could make a good planning on what I could do during my this entire *off-week* ??????

*S I G H*

Today is a silly, shocking and sad day.

Oh well, I should be happy to get a week holiday before I start the new job, but I feel silly, shocked and sad.

Went groceries shopping and cooked myself a good yummy meal.

Being misunderstood?

Isit alright,
to be misunderstood by everyone
as long as you know what is happening?

Isit worth it,
to be misunderstood by everyone
as long as you feel you are fine?

Isit long-lasting,
to be misunderstood by everyone
as long as you are determined with how you feel?

Isit possible,
to not think so much and
get stuffed with everything?
to not care so much and
can't be bothered with everything?

Please tell me if it is.

Alas...

I am glad,
that everything is back to normal for me
that everything is clear and understood
that nothing further will be developed
that nobody later will be hurt, even more

I am glad.

Tiredness.....

Haven't had a decent break from...

Studying at University
Waitressing at Chillipadi
Researching at the STRIP

Yet gonna have to be prepared for...

Research assistant at Ludwig Institute...next week

Gonna faint soon.

Tong Hua

wang le you duo jiu
zai mei ting dao ni
dui wo shuo ni zui ai de gu shi
wo xiang le hen jiu
wo kai shi huang le
shi bu shi wo you zuo cuo le shen me

# ni ku zher dui wo shuo
tong hua li du shi pian ren de
wo bu ke neng shi ni de wang zi
ye xu ni bu hui dong
cong ni shuo ai wo yi hou
wo de tian kong xing xing dou liang le

*wo yuan bian cheng tong hua li
ni ai de na ge tian shi
zhang kai shuang shou
bian cheng chi bang shou hu ni
ni yao xiang xin
xiang xin wo men hui xiang tong hua gu shi li
xin fu he kuai le shi jie ju

# ni ku zher dui wo shuo
tong hua li du shi pian ren de
wo bu ke neng shi ni de wang zi
ye xu ni bu hui dong
cong ni shuo ai wo yi hou
wo de tian kong xing xing dou liang le

*wo yuen bian cheng tong hua li
ni ai de na ge tian shi
zhang kai shuang shou
bian cheng chi bang shou hu ni
ni yao xiang xin
xiang xin wo men hui xiang tong hua gu shi li
xin fu he kuai le shi jie ju (x2)

wo hui bian cheng tong hua li
ni ai de na ge tian shi
zhang kai shuang shou
bian cheng chi bang shou hu ni
ni yao xiang xin
xiang xin wo men hui xiang tong hua gu shi li
xin fu he kuai le shi jie ju

yi qi xie wo men de jie ju