My first principle

Never get into a relationship that could hurt the other party.

Merry Christmas!!!

HOT

The temperature for today is 35 - 38. Hot like anything...............MADNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Funny thing

I was asked twice in a week, by two totally different person to involve myself into a relationship, which I am yet to be sure whether myself is ready. And I am not sure whether has one got to be prepared to become one's girlfriend or is it a spontaneous reaction and just requires adaptation?
In fact, the main reason of my refusal was obvious - dislike the physical contact. But be careful not to interpret in another diverted direction, I only dislike physical contact with the pepople I don't feel comfortable with, and that includes both sexes.

Feelings...

Presence really make a very big difference. Being able to be together with loved ones give the most wonderful feeling, and is the very few wishes that I would ask for. They are so real, so parental, so loving, so understanding, so caring, so protective, and not to forget, so cute, so funny and so deary. Have already, and will miss them so much. Thanks for everything and I love you.

Please forgive me for being so careless, forgetting to give you the birthday card that I have bought few weeks ago, for not wishing you early birthday because I knew I would have caused more tears bursting if I said it out. I will call you to wish on the day itself. I love you daddy.

Definition of a Good friend

What is it? Is there a clear distinction between a good friend and a boy friend? I used to think there is, and still believe that there is. But does everyone knows how to distinguish between the two?

How close is not too close? How intimate is not too intimate? Would you be uncomfortable if a good friend is being too nice to you? Would you feel intimidated by a good friend being too concern about you? Would you be irritated by a good friend's intermittent calls and care?

If I were to answer all those questions, I would say NO. And it is damn obvious that I think NO.

me, me and me

* Fun to be with
* Secretive
* Difficult to fathom and to be understood
* Quiet unless excited or tensed
* Takes pride in oneself
* Has reputation
* Easily consoled
* Honest
* Concern about people's feelings
* Tactful
* Friendly
* Approachable
* Very emotional
* Temperamental and unpredictable
* Moody and easily hurt
* Witty and sarky
* Sentimental
* Not revengeful
* Forgiving but never forgets
* Dislike nonsensical and unnecessary things
* Guides others physically and mentally
* Sensitive and forms impressions carefully
* Caring and loving
* Treats others equally
* Strong sense of sympathy
* Wary and sharp
* Judge people through observations
* Hardworking

In bold = so true = so me
In red = so damn me

Excited, Happy, Confused

Excited: Get to meet papa and mama on monday.
Happy: May be able to work for summer scholarship with Mariah, Alan Trousan's research group.
Confused: Irritated, annoyed and intimidated by a goodfriend's concern.

Confessions

Yes, I admit that I was angry and hurt. I haven't had those annoying feelings for a very long time and all of a sudden it striked me, in the mid of the most enjoyable moments with everyone. None of them were sober enough to realize my unrevealed feelings except him. I know he was just joking, wanting to crack something funny for people to laugh at. But I found that nothing humorous or exciting to joke about, especially when I am beginning to think that he is someone reliable whom I could trust. If I am not mistaken, he knew perfectly well that I would not be happy if he went a little bit further, and yet he did. He may have been a little tipsy, but I still believe that he was sober enough to know what he was talking about.

I just don't believe what's there to be fussed about, on something which is so normal and nothing to be fussed about. Am I a little too sensitive? Or isit guys are usually less senstitive than they should be, thereby taking it for granted to give a statement that they thought normal but which could have hurt other people's feelings. Some people are just so straight forward, and never think of other people's feelings, but I also have came across with some guys with a total opposite attitude. So, there is no reason for being so unthoughtful.

YOU know very well that I dislike having to mistrust people. Once I put a trust on you, but it's been doubted, that's gonna be it. Prolly my personality is not well understood.

At the end, I should be forgiving and forgetful. Then shall I be happy and cheerful again. Yesterday was half moon and apparently the pro-moody period of the month. Give me some time to digest it first.

Sticky date pudding

I recommend sticky date pudding for desert - yUm.......Yesterday after work, came back to clayton, Channy fetched me from home and we headed to Coles to purchase our dinner groceries. We both, felt like cooking pasta and thus, our main course for the night was delicious and yummy chicken mushroom pasta - with lots of parmesen cheese............yum...................
Eating dinner while watching tele is the most sensational thing to do, and in addition to a delicious delicacy - sticky date pudding for desert, perfect.

Is somethin' wrong with me?

I don't know. I really don't know. People i just trying to be nice to me, but I think it is far more than what a friend should do for a friend whom he just knew for not more than a month. Even though we have similar birthdays, similar star signs, approx. similar time of birth, similar thinking (sometimes), doesn't mean we should be so close. No, ought not to be so close. But he is treating me so well that I find it intimidating. He may speculate me as his sister (I really hope so) and therefore behaving like a big bro looking after a little cute sister like me. I really dislike the way he looks at me and preparing food for me and buying presents for me. No doubt I always feel happy and excited when receiving presents, but I OUGHT to stop him from doing that.......yet how? It is definitely very sweet to have someone taking care of me so nice and wonderful, but he is not the someone I am looking for. NO.

Getting bored.....

It is merely one month ever since I am officially free from uni, and I am begining to feel bored as well as disorganized. No doubt, I enjoy this freedom of mine more than having to stick to the very same routine during uni life. However, the feeling of tendency to think nonsense is coming back to me...and no, I should not let this particular gene (which controls my interpretation capability extra well and that runs in the family) - the culprit to dictate my emotions, should I?
Anyway, tomorrow am gonna be occupied with my new found job...yey! After that, will go to Chantal's house and cook dinner together, me watching tele while channy's gonna work on her presentation. That's all for tomorrow's schedule. Now, I am busy receiving some nice songs from Bernie....wOw.....I think Ashlee Simpson is good........
Ok, all for now. talk to you later.

Goodbye honors

I still could not accept the fact that I am already in my transition to becoming a woman, to be more precise, I am getting old. Unfortunately, I did not exactly enjoy my teen-young adult life to the fullest....as I spent all four years ONLY at uni. FOUR blardy years have gone by just as quick as a flash of light and I feel myself getting old. Have I gained anything in those four years? Have I used the past four most important years of my life to the greatest, and made them the most sensational, unforgettable years in my life? I suppose I have not....sigh.....well, it's gone. They're gone, and life still goes on. Still, should I be using the more optimistic side of my brain (right I guess) to analyze this consequences and circumstances? I guess I do.

On the other hand, I should be saying......oh great! my life has just begun! Uni life is over and I am outta schooling life and getting excited to meet the world! yey!
But the thing is, am I ready to work and get over with studying? I haven't even got myself a descent job (instead of the research assistant position, which promise me some salary just by working in the laboratory everyday with the same people and same experimental models - mice?)
To tell you the truth, this ain't what I soo wanted to do initially. And to reveal myself, this ain't what I plan to do for my future even RIGHT NOW. Well, under such circumstances, I guess I only have to get along with for the time being, because this is what my graduate certificate recognize me for.

Today was my first day at work in Chilli Padi Melbourne Central. First time ever have I worked as a waitress in Australia. Can't deny that it was indeed my wish to become a waitress one day.....haha....and here I am now, working as a casual in a cool Malaysian restaurant in the city! Tiring it is, to travel from Clayton the faraway suburb to the busy city, but I am all excited and happy to do the traveling. While traveling on the train, I was reading Until You (by another of my favorite author: Judith Mcnaught) in a relaxed manner just like what a pensioner uncle or aunty does. Haha...it was wonderful, it really was.
I guess it is normal for a first-time-waitress like me to make a mistake on the first working day. Yeah, I made one mistake, which was to take a wrong order and unfortunately for the customer, he had to wait for a second round to get his chicken curry laksa. Yet, he was kind enough to grin at me and joke about the laksa. I learnt from my mistake = to repeat what customers have ordered.
Anyway, all's well ends well. Today was a memorable day for me and thus I decided to blog about it and start my blogging motivation again. Never ever will I stop for another year again - I hope.