I wanna be a TREE

Why be a tree? Being a tree gives one the feeling of secured and settled, with no worries, no feelings, no emotions, no confusions, no dishonesty, no displeasure and most importantly, rooted to the ground. Although, being a tree may be lonely at times, but at least it is the landmark, a permanent site, which could be found in times of necessity.
Moreover, being in the forest is fantastic...never will be lonely and bored, with many trees and plantations around as well as animals living in the same habitat.
Whether to be or not to be: Introvert, conservative, unknown, cool, retiring, quiet, instinctively secretive, manipulative, capable of being snappish and irritable when the mood is on me and yet able to brim over with joy, warmth, and sheer wild unbridled fun with surroundings.
In short, I think I wanna be a tree.....

What is this?

This ain't a joke. I thought it was, and hope it is, actually. But it is not. According to Channy, he wanted to be nice. What is there to be nice about? Is by being nice is to come to one's house and offer himself? No, that's not the way of being nice and not the right way to be nice. Been working together in the same department and neighbouring lab for the entire blardy year, and what is there to be nice about just when everything is over and that i am not gonna be in the department anymore?

I thought that I could understand him more, and make him a more comfy person to be with, and expose him to some asian culture, but now i am afraid to do so. Intimidated by his daring movements and offer, to be near him. Better get out of his sight - To prevent is better than to regret...

Happy New Year!

My last posting was before christmas, and now it is exactly the fifth day of the year 2005. No exciting nor new year's feeling, happy or sensational feeling just yet. Except, a little bit of confusion, loneliness, frustrated and unstable emotions was felt, is feeling and would be feeling.

My new year resolution? If I am not mistaken, have made several exciting resolutions and ambitions that might perhaps be achievable and would definitely try to achieve them. But mind has become a little blank and lost right now. Perhaps should have written down in my diary all the resolutions that I have made for myself, or thought of, so that I could then pursue them. Hopefully my memory will return eventually and without being too late for me to achieve them.

Aims and decisions change everyday, every minute and every second. MAKE UP YOUR MIND! But I just cannot do that. I am so indecisive, unfocussed, greedy, unprofessional in managing my life. What would I want for my future? What could I be in my future? What would be best for my future? Whether I really wanted them and that they are the best for me, that is another question. That's a nobody's say. Not even myself....because nobody could do what they wanted to do and loved what they did, liked what they are doing and know that they wuld love what they would be doing in the future. Could someone or something please prove me wrong?? Please.......................